Superpower Assignments (updated! ... some more!!)

All right everyone (and I do mean everyone), you've all been assigned superpowers.

Anyone can assign anyone else, including themselves, a superpower.
All superpowers are sovereign.
You can change the superpower you assigned someone else if you like.

RECIPIENT

• POWER [ASSIGNER]

Aikta Wahi

• Self-induced sleep [Brett]

Alex Henderson

• Can travel back in time five seconds (five seconds to recharge) [Brett]
• Powers of lightning (fury) [Alex]
• Can make bread rise or resurrect fallen bread (one in every 1,000 attempts will misfire and give Brett an approximately 30 minute erection) [Cameron]
• Can hover four inches above the ground [Megan]
• Can generate shockwaves with ~5KJ of energy twice per day [Daniel]
• May memorize one extra spell per day per caster level [Sean]
  

Alicia Gurley

• Perfect balance [Brett]
• Always has one cigarette left [Daniel]
• Personal opinion determines critical reviews/general esteem of any pop culture medium (books, film, TV shows, etc.) [Megan]
  

Amanda Hurley

• Has the only proper title to a djinn that will grant her seven wishes; the djinn is located in a lamp at the bottom of the sea in an unknown location; she is unable to give any indication to anyone that she is looking for something in the ocean [Brett]
• Can replicate calico cats under 6 weeks of age [Daniel]
• For one day per month, can make a person of her choice see themselves completely accurately & objectively [Megan]
  

Amy Olson

• An incredibly extensive arsenal [Brett]

Anna B-R

• Sex is always amazing [Brett]
• Can summon a horned helmet and whale-bone javelin at will [Daniel]
• War cry resounding for miles [Megan]
  

Anna DeWitt

• Astigmatism [Brett]

Annie Blakeney-Glazer

• Dances better than anyone else in the room [Brett]
• Can dehyphenate surnames [Daniel]
• Excellent intuition for midwifery [Megan]
  

Bobo Deng

• When talking to people in person, knows what they least want her to [Brett]

Breniecia Reuben

• Can pinpoint the location of any post-pubescent female within 50 miles [Brett]
• Can make any marinade perfectly [Megan]
• Can survive tornadoes, hurricanes and any other rotating meteorological phenomenon [Daniel]
  

Brent Williams

• Excellent gaydar [Brett]

Brett A. Bumgarner

• Social capital [Brett]
• Anything made eventually turns out just as wanted [Kate]
• Powers of amber (preservation) [Alex]
• Knowledge of all components of all songs [Cameron]
• Truly probing questions elicit honest answers [Megan]
• Can carry on as many conversations at once as needed [Tim]
• Can deliver messages via cats that paint [Jankers]
• Can turn anything into psilocybin mushrooms when sober [Daniel]
• Never encounters pot holes [Alicia]
• Has visionary prescience of clothing about to enter his life [Jared]
• Can wink at someone and control their mind for 10 minutes [Jen]
• May throw urticating hairs at attackers if disturbed [Sean]
  

Brice McGowan

• Can't get bored [Brett]

Cameron Hartofelis

• Has no necessity for many bodily functions (eating, breathing, sleeping, drinking, sweating, burping, sneezing, coughing, vomiting, urinating, defecating, menstruating and ovulating) [Brett]
• Perfect first impression of what someone is really like upon meeting them [Kate]
• Powers of vegetation (entanglement) [Alex]
• Queen of the cats [Cameron]
• For one hour a week, can make anyone else see things from her perspective [Megan]
• Can create artificial sunlight at any time of day or night for 30-35 seconds [Daniel]
  

Catherine Kronk

• Can allow one animated character at a time to become real [Brett]
• Always remembers to turn off the lights [Alex]
  

Chelsea Flowers

• Can draw a perfect circle [Brett]
• Can turn strawberry jam into raspberry jam [Megan]
• Can sell anything to anyone for any price, given that the buyer is a crackhead and/or Batley from Eureka's Castle [Daniel]
  

Chris Erb

• At the moment of most import in his life, a mysterious and wise old crone will approach him with an omen he would be wise to take heed of [Brett]
• Can create and destroy Stalin doppelgangers when struck [Daniel]

Chris Lauderdale (Dr. Feathers)

• Can guess anyone's astrological signs [Brett]

Cole Goins

• Smells like what is most inviting to each individual [Brett]
• Can surf the internet with 56k dialup speed on any computer connected to the internet [Daniel]

Colin Fleisher

• Can bear children yet retain the same physical body [Brett]
• Can see the past [Daniel]
• Hates cockroaches [Megan]
  

Daniel Fleisher

• Can communicate with the dead if in the place they were put to rest [Brett]
• Has bat wings that attach under his arms and allow him to fly [Kate]
• Powers of fog (occlusion) [Alex]
• Can see in any light [Megan]
• Can enthrall people with anything he's writing and it's meaning and intent is always lucid [Tim]
• Can warm the heart of a recalcitrant child [Jankers]
• Can make yogurt factories go under [Daniel]

Dave Moore

• Skilled metalworker [Brett]

David Brown

• Can like anything if he wants to [Brett]
• Irresistible to kickdogs [Daniel]
• Prescient knowledge of approaching people whenever in an embarrassing/compromising situation [Megan]
  

David Hardee Watkins

• Wolf animagus [Brett]
• Speaks every variation of British dialect immaculately [Alex]
• Can make bats listen [Daniel]

Dustin Baugham

• Is friends with Lea Thompson [Brett]

Emily McKendry-Smith

• Levity [Brett]

Emily Morton

• Once a year, can apprehend America's most wanted fugitive without experiencing serious harm [Brett]
• Elicits fear in predators [Megan]
  

Emily Withers

• Can grow and un-grow a mustache in any styling [Brett]
• Can emit a warm and balmy glow from her hands [Megan]
• Can understand all orbits (e.g. Kepler's laws) [Daniel]
  

Eric Foss

• Rapport modulation [Brett]

Erin Watson

• A small vole lives inside her abdomen which she can regurgitate and swallow back (neither unpleasant); it can do her bidding and report back to her; if it dies, she gets another [Brett]
• Opposable toes [Megan]
• When in the presence of solar-powered machines, can occasionally see through them [Daniel]
  

Esther

• Expanding throat - can swallow eggs whole! [Brett]

Eugene Yacobson

• Has knowledge of what all people honestly think about him, even if they don't know themselves [Brett]
• Ultimate empathy [Megan]
• Can inflict Delhibelly on invertebrates [Daniel]
• Always comes when beckoned [Alex]
  

Forrest Oliphant

• Controlled somnambulism [Brett]

Frank Gallaugher

• Knows all institutional rules that apply in his spatial and temporal existence [Brett]
• Will die with honor [Megan]
• Has the power to make sense. Ever. [Daniel]
  

Garrett Davis

• Loved by all children [Brett]
  

Heather Livengood

• With her thoughts, can (1) kill people, and (2) resurrect and summon the dead directly to her (resurrections will be as they were a month before they died) [Brett]
• Affinity for Jews [Daniel]

Helen Kearns

• Can brew coffee that gives people extremely vivid and memorable dreams determined by how she brews and serves the coffee [Brett]
• Sonar [Megan]
• A green thumb [Alicia]
• Can inflict mild myopia on Brett A. Bumgarner for several minutes once per day or when stressed [Daniel]
  

Hunter Simpson

• Can assign truancy penalty immunity [Brett]

Isaac Sandlin

• Hears envy [Brett]

Jacob McLean

• A daily, novel, humorous anecdote [Brett]

Jadrian Miles

• Musk [Brett]
• Tusks [Daniel]
  

Jankers

• Punctuality [Brett]
• Eternally clean socks and underwear [Kate]
• Infinite arithmetic abilities [Megan]
• Can get to the logical root of any problem [Tim]
• Can generate and restore light in literal and metaphorical senses [Daniel]

Jared Brothers

• Two lives but no save point [Brett]
• Can transport himself through stone [Jared]
• Can switch back and forth between male and female genitalia at will [Megan]
• Is stone [Daniel]
  

Jason Maxwell

• Can pass as a statuesque, thirty-something female [Brett]
• Can temporarily deactivate a single power of an acquaintance if angered [Daniel]
• Can seduce 5 people of his choice in his lifetime [Megan]
  

Jen Choi

• Birds pick up spare change for her [Brett]

Jen Toledo

• Can live the life of a 17th century British sea captain when she so pleases [Brett]
• Can use any musical instrument as a flying device [Jen]
  

Jenny Cigmalia

• Origami takes on the properties of the folded animal [Brett]

Jesse Anderson

• Propriety [Brett]
• Lives in the Bog of Eternal Stench [Daniel]
  

Jonah Garson

• 25% improved odds at games of chance [Brett]

Jonathan Page

• Bird's-eye view [Brett]

Jordy

• Has a safety place in the outskirts of southern Sydney he can teleport himself to (takes several minutes to manifest) [Brett]
• Can make his hands look like anyone's hands [Megan]
• Can regrow own teeth [Daniel]
  

Jose Boyer

• Can control how sober he is [Brett]
• Can grow roots 3-5 feet into soft earth [Daniel]
• Can transmute kale into the same mass of any other type of food of his choosing [Megan]
  

Josh Dull

• No scent or taste is too cloying, and is instead too peppery [Brett]
• Satyr legs [Megan]
• Public transportation runs on his time [Alicia]
• Wings too small to actually carry him to the heavens [Daniel]
  

Kareen Boncales

• Gets every joke [Brett]
• Power to be known to Daniel Fleisher [Daniel]
• Disarming [Megan]

Kareena Jasso

• Can elude security guards with ease [Brett]

Kate Wheeler

• Can remember everything, effective retroactively [Brett]
• Powers of sunlight (restorative radiation) [Alex]
• Shoes that always endure, always protect and are always perfectly worn in [Cameron]
• Power over one ungulate at a time (can communicate with it and it will do her bidding) [Megan]
• Can make any prescriptivism obsolete [Jankers]
• Once per week, can view and store the entire genetic code for any species [Daniel]
• May perform reverse osmosis as if it were regular, forward osmosis [Sean]
  

Katie Almirall

• Can't be embarrassed [Brett]
  

Katie O'Neil

• A large dowry [Brett]

Keith Hodson

• Has a Pegasus [Brett]

Kenton deAngeli

• Always gets to be the designated driver [Brett]
• Can survive syphilis [Megan]
• Can survive [Daniel]
  

Kevin Clark

• Coldblooded [Brett]

Kevin Michael Clair

• Can change anything’s color [Brett]
• Can only immolate oneself in libraries all of whose books are composed entirely of blank pages [Daniel]
• Control over all water (position, grouping [e.g. can condense all water out of the air, create tsunamis, etc.]). Basically the Magneto of water. [Megan]
  

Kevin Wood

• Can always find closure [Brett]
  

Kristen Orr

• "The Rachel" [Brett]

Kristen Pallotta

• Can identify future stroke victims [Brett]
• Everyday, can make any two books disappear forever (only that copy) [Daniel]
• All clothes are flattering on her [Megan]
  

Larsy

• Can make bubbles come out of her mouth that last up to a day [Brett]
• Extra vagina on roof of mouth [Daniel]
• Paws instead of feet [Megan]
  

Lauren Brenner

• Divining rod [Brett]

Laurin Gioglio

• Expert scrimshander with infinite whalebone supply [Brett]
• Can detect all masons within 50 meters [Daniel]
• Can communicate with the person on the exact opposite side of the world from her, if there is a person at that spot at the moment of attempted contact [Megan]
  

Leilani Trowell

• Can temporarily relieve herself of all stress [Brett]
• Can't fly [Daniel]
• Can slightly change the appearance of one body part (of hers) at a time (when changing another, the first body part returns to original appearance) [Megan]
  

Libby

• Dignified composure in times of grief [Brett]

Lillian Morris

• Commands respect [Brett]

Liz Yockey

• Can forget anything she wants to [Brett]
• Can spit pure RNA [Daniel]
• Can levitate all vegetables at will [Megan]
  

Llael Maffitt

• Can survive intense cold [Brett]

Lockamy

• Will always be generously tipped when working in the service industry [Brett]
• Poisonous [Daniel]
• Excellent at all Vaudevillian performances [Megan]
  

Matt March

• Always knows the exact time [Brett]
• Can be distinguished from Will Moore [Daniel]
• Welcomes people with warmth and cheer [Megan]
  

Matt Thomas

• Can summon rainbows [Brett]

Meg Lyon

• On every new moon, experiences the life of an elderly invalid for a day, and shall return to her life without any actual time having passed [Brett]
• The biting strength of a man [Daniel]
• Can emit sparks [Megan]
  

Megan Somerday

• One and only one established being of mythology must be in play at all times as summoned by Megan (e.g., a mermaid, Santa Claus, Yahweh or a vampire) — beings that exist only in the plural may be summoned as such [Brett]
• Can end any argument/discussion with one irrefutable statement [Kate]
• Powers of clouds (neutralization) [Alex]
• Can immediately summon any one person (known personally to her) at any time [Tim]
• Can evoke whimsy with a pointed look [Jankers]
• Can speak and understand all human languages [Daniel]
• Infinite disarming charisma [Megan]
• Prescience of spills [Liz]
• Can control electricity [Jen]
• May measure position and momentum simultaneously [Sean]
  

Melanie Singer

• Lays eggs – a random variety every time! (nothing with an exoskeleton) [Brett]

Michael Harwood

• Can fit into smaller spaces than one would expect [Brett]

Michael O'Shea

• Fortune cookies always come true [Brett]

Mike Lebov

• Debonairness [Brett]

Montgomery Morris

• Speaks Esperanto [Brett]

Nate

• Appliqué [Brett]
  

Nebula Li

• Stilts [Brett]

Nicole Bittner

• Excellent instinct for the stock market [Brett]

nickd

• Knows the extent of his abilities [Brett]
• Banished from Chicago [Daniel]

Nick Snyder

• Loves Gallagher [Brett]

Niky Ring

• Alacrity [Brett]
• Werewolf blood (detectable by sorcerers and clerics) [Daniel]
• Reasonable knowledge of aquatic creatures [Megan]
  

Nureena Faruqi

• Can make blood come out of any orifice [Brett]
• Venomous fangs [Megan]
• Bulldozer-proof (though I know she's not a Palestinian :D) [Daniel]
  

Owen Fitzgerald

• Red-green colorblind [Brett]

Palmer

• Can survive off mosses and lichen [Brett]

Parks

• An uncommonly mordant wit [Brett]
• Can pave flat areas at will [Daniel]
• Glows in the dark [Megan]
  

Patrick Reynolds

• Irrefutable evidence for all things he is wrongfully accused of [Brett]

Paul Smith

• Wins every award he is nominated for (up to 25 nominees) [Brett]
• Intimate knowledge of all buggery [Daniel]
• Can survive in space with no protective gear [Megan]
  

Princess Ojiaku

• Friends with Ghostwriter [Brett]
• Can temporarily acquire the characteristics of another and a concomitant indicator of that person (think Kirby) [Megan]
  

Rayven Plaza

• Can control how much physical pain she feels [Brett]
  

Reece McGowen

• Every month, gets to pick a day where it goes as it would have, yet is only for practice [Brett]
• Can swim and dive through the earth, as a dolphin can through water [Reece]

Robin Sinhababu

• Speed-reading [Brett]

Ronnie Johnson

• Can approach and pet herbivores without intimidating them [Brett]
• Perfect navigational skills (perfect internal compass and map) [Megan]
• Total immunity to contagion [Daniel]
  

Ros Schwartz

• Frightens people [Brett]
• Has 'It' [Megan]
  

Sarah Wilson

• Can accurately assay her ability to seduce others [Brett]
• Has the most pleasantly soft skin and hair of all time [Megan]
• Metal fingertips (perfect for shredding! (on a guitar!)) [Daniel]
  

Seamus

• Stealth [Brett]

Sean Hill

• Revolutionary cellist virtuoso who will always be regarded as the cellist of most import should he choose to capitalize on his skill [Brett]
• Can temporarily legally change name to Hean Sill [Daniel]
• Uncommonly flexible [Megan]
• Can jump any height as long as doing so is in response to an explicit challenge [Sean]
  

Stanton Kidd

• Never gets nauseous [Brett]

Stefan Mlot

• Can restrict people's bodily movements with his mind [Brett]

Steph Russ

• Tastes like each person's favorite ice cream flavor [Brett]
• Can smell fear [Megan]
  

Susannah Tysor

• Immunity to headaches [Brett]
• Sterility stare [Susannah]
• Can make locking joints unlock if needed [Daniel]

Susie Simpson

• Parseltongue [Brett]
• Can shed skin all at once (think: snakes) [Daniel]
• Vertical, transparent eyelids (never has to blink!) [Megan]
  

Tess Pendergast

• Hibernates [Brett]

Tessa Lee

• Can always find a safe ride when hitchhiking [Brett]
• Can perceive all objects as if they were coated in Vaseline [Daniel]
• An unquenchable thirst for knowledge [Megan]
  

Tim Stallmann

• All things that belong to him will automatically be neat, clean and organized [Brett]
• Has knowledge of interesting secret places nearby [Kate]
• Can recast any situation in a positive light to himself and others [Megan]
• Can convince anyone of anything about himself if speaking to him/her in person [Tim]
• Can restore English longbowmen's fingers that have been cut off [Jankers]
• Can fold space and time three times in his life and create a separate copy of himself that will live its own life, but he will know what it is doing [Daniel]

Tony Shaff

• Can conjure craved foods [Brett]

Travis Smith

• Excellent rhythm [Brett]

Tyler Boyd

• Whatever he wears is automatically the most stylish [Brett]
• Can jump slightly higher than he currently can [Daniel]
• Can change minute details of already-recorded songs at his pleasure [Megan]
  

Tyler Thomas

• Perfect knowledge of everything's location outside the Earth's atmosphere [Brett]
• Color coordination [Alicia]
• Knows the full life-story of every character in Harry Potter but doesn't care [Alex]
• Platemail [Daniel]
  

Will Moore

• Sings with a beautifully plaintive voice [Brett]

Zachariah Cox

• A noble bloodline [Brett]
  

Zane Beckwith

• Hospitality [Brett]
• Can cartwheel for miles without stopping [Daniel]
  
• Subtlety [Megan]