things y'all should know, part 1

A solid one percent of the US population is in prison these days.

From today's New York Times:

Nationwide, the prison population grew by 25,000 last year, bringing it to almost 1.6 million. Another 723,000 people are in local jails. The number of American adults is about 230 million, meaning that one in every 99.1 adults is behind bars.

Incarceration rates are even higher for some groups. One in 36 Hispanic adults is behind bars, based on Justice Department figures for 2006. One in 15 black adults is, too, as is one in nine black men between the ages of 20 and 34.

This is, of course, quite natural! According to a Professor Paul Cassell, from the University of Utah, who gets quoted later on in the article,

"One out of every 100 adults is behind bars because one out of every 100 adults has committed a serious criminal offense."

Two and a Half Years Later ...

... this still makes me laugh.



That and the CD I made to accompany it, "Music for Life Talks." The track list:

1. "Torn" - Natalie Imbruglia
2. "I Love You, Always Forever" - Donna Lewis
3. "Only Time" - Enya
4. "Torn" - Natalie Imbruglia
5. "I Love You, Always Forever" - Donna Lewis
6. "Only Time" - Enya
7. "Torn" - Natalie Imbruglia
8. "I Love You, Always Forever" - Donna Lewis
9. "Only Time" - Enya
10. "Torn" - Natalie Imbruglia
11. "I Love You, Always Forever" - Donna Lewis
12. "Only Time" - Enya
13. "Torn" - Natalie Imbruglia
14. "I Love You, Always Forever" - Donna Lewis
15. "Only Time" - Enya
16. "Tiny Dancer" - Elton John

Ahh, what a great mix ...

When Frank Gallaugher fell off a roof and almost died, I gave him this CD and a biography of Clarence Thomas, with the inscription, "This book got me through some tough times. Hopefully, it can do the same for you."

That was one of my prouder moments.

Missed Connections

Everyone knows about Missed Connections on craigslist, right? It's that place everyone likes to go and say, "Aw, these poor, pathetic people. How sad humanity can be."

Right! That place!

Well I was with a semi-friend, hanging out with him and about five of my semi-friend's friends, and Missed Connections came up.

"Oh, I saw myself on Missed Connections again."

"Yeah, I saw that, too. I'm on there at least twice this week?"

"Really? God, you're always on there."

"I haven't seen Michael on there in a while."

"Strange, Michael's alwas on it."

I just sat in silent awe. These people are finding themselves on Missed Connections? I've never found a missed connection about me. Do I just not check it regularly?

Well I started to. Nope, no missed connections about me. Yet these guys are apparently missing connections all over the greater Philadelphia area.

My goal: have someone miss my connection!

How do I achieve this? Wink at strangers? Stand around mysteriously and seductively in oft frequented places? I do now know. But I'm going to get one, damnit! I'll even race someone for a missed connection.

The Problem Solver

Looks like the #1 Solver of Problems (that's me!) has some competition. Check out this craigslist ad I found:

YOUR WORST PROBLEM FIXED

What is your WORST problem?
Business or Personal

Wouldn’t it be great to put it behind you?

Let me know what it is (or what they are) and,

I’ll tell you if I can solve them. It won’t cost you a penny to find out.

I look forward to hearing from you.

The Problem Solver


Worst problem:

2nd worst problem:

3rd Worst problem:

Other problems:

That is so something I would do! I am jealous that they thought of it first. Well they didn't really, but he sure capitalized on it first. I like the way this person thinks, and I want to go into business with them.

See How Much Better This Is?

With everyone just posting whenever they want?

Oh look, snow ...

A Productive Use of Business Cards

So Giggle Print can get you 250 free business cards, and all you have to pay is shipping and handling.

Of course I had to capitalize on this. I got 250 cards, all just like the following:
_________________________
Brett A. Bumgarner




828.508.5285
brett.bumgarner@gmail.com
_______________________

So I just write little notes in the middle and leave them places. For example, I saw a poor soul with a parking violation and I wrote, "Sorry about your parking violation. That kind of sucks. kind of." Then I stuck that in his ticket.

Or ...

"I once lived in someone's closet for a week. At least I tried to ...

These business cards were a good investment. And free! <333" style="font-style: italic;">Survivor. Is that more sexy or sad?"

Or ...

"You know what? I really liked Muriel's Wedding."

I slipped those cards in unsuspecting people's pockets at a coat rack at a bar. How me can one get? Pretty me, in my case.

just wanted to say thanks

to all my awesome friends who never did this to me :)

And speaking of math, I recently calculated the terminal velocity of a 4 kilo kitten tossed from a plane. That is a fat kitten.

HAPPY MOTOWN MONDAY

IT IS THE DAY WHERE YOU LISTEN TO MOTOWN



EVERY DAY IS MOTOWN MONDAY



Q: WILL IT BE MOTOWN MONDAY TOMORROW, EVEN THOUGH IT IS TUESDAY?
A: EVERY DAY IS MOTOWN MONDAY



BEWARE OF MOTOWN MONDAY



YOU MAY NEVER BE THE SAME!!!!!

Remember that "Not Quite Freegan" thing I "tried" ?

Yeah. I didn't actually. I failed miserably and succumbed to beer, coffee, peanut butter, milk, lentils — all the foods signifying today's decadent society!

Maybe I'll just give myself some other taskforce project. Or get a taskforce project partner. That may make my next taskforce project an easier taskforce project.

Taskforce!!!

del.icio.us

So I just joined del.icio.us. I don't think I get it.